Congress Bills

A Bill to Modernize and Revitalize the Airship Industry

1 BE IT ENACTED BY THE CONGRESS HERE ASSEMBLED:

2 SECTION 1. Congress shall establish an annual fund of $10 billion to be used to promote research,

3 development, and implementation of improved technology to support the use of airships

4 for shipping, emergency medical and disaster support, and transportation.

5 SECTION 2. An airship is defined as an engine-powered, steerable aircraft that is fueled by gasses that

6 are lighter than air.

7 SECTION 3. The Federal Aviation Administration shall oversee this legislation and be responsible for the

8 effective disbursement of these funds.

9 SECTION 4. This legislation shall take effect at the start of the next fiscal year.

10 SECTION 5. All laws in conflict with this legislation are hereby declared null and void.

A Bill to Allow for Consumption of Horse Meat

1 BE IT ENACTED BY THE CONGRESS HERE ASSEMBLED:

2 SECTION 1. All bans in place against the slaughter, sale, and consumption of horse meat within the

3 United States are hereby lifted, as are bans preventing the use of federal funds for

4 mandatory inspections of horse meat slaughterhouses.

5 SECTION 2. Congress shall transfer $5 billion in annual beef subsidies to the horse meat industry to

6 promote the consumption of horse meat as an alternative to other meat products.

7 SECTION 3. The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) shall oversee this legislation.

8 SECTION 4. This legislation shall take effect on January 1, 2026.

9 SECTION 5. All laws in conflict with this legislation are hereby declared null and void.

A Bill to Require Recess

1 BE IT ENACTED BY THE CONGRESS HERE ASSEMBLED:

2 SECTION 1. Any school that receives federal funding and serves students at any level up to and

3 including 8th grade must provide those students with at least 30 minutes of recess during

4 each school day.

5 SECTION 2. Recess is defined as supervised but unstructured time during which students are provided

6 an area in which they have sufficient space to engage in physical play and activity.

7 SECTION 3. Any school or district that fails to meet this minimum shall lose federal funding until such

8 time as compliance is reached.

9 SECTION 4. This legislation shall be overseen by the Department of Education.

10 SECTION 5. This legislation shall take effect on July 1, 2025.

11 SECTION 6. All laws in conflict with this legislation are hereby declared null and void.

A Bill to Darken Our Skies

1 BE IT ENACTED BY THE CONGRESS HERE ASSEMBLED:

2 SECTION 1. Congress shall allocate an additional $500 million per year to the United States Fish and

3 Wildlife Service (USFWS) to empower them to work more closely with the International

4 Dark-Sky Association (IDSA) on their Dark Skies Initiative, focusing on the goals of reducing

5 light pollution in cities and vastly increasing the number of International Dark Sky

6 Communities in the United States.

7 SECTION 2. This legislation shall be overseen by USFWS.

8 SECTION 3. This legislation shall take effect at the start of the next fiscal year.

9 SECTION 4. All laws in conflict with this legislation are hereby declared null and void.

A Resolution to Apologize for the Iraq War

1 WHEREAS The Downing Street Memo and other sources that have become available in the last two

2 decades have provided a concerning amount of evidence that the United States’

3 motivations in going to war with Iraq were a severe breach of the country’s values; and

4 WHEREAS The accusations the United States made concerning the Saddam Hussein regime’s secret

5 accumulation of weapons of mass destruction and collusion with the perpetrators of the

6 September 11 attacks have proven to be wholly unfounded and arguably even fabricated

7 by design; and

8 WHEREAS This war resulted in incalculable damage, trauma, and hardship in the region, including the

9 deaths of thousands of U.S. soldiers and hundreds of thousands of Iraqis, as many of

10 200,000 of whom were civilians; now, therefore be it

11 RESOLVED by the Congress here assembled that this body sincerely and humbly apologizes to the

12 Republic of Iraq and the Iraqi people for the immense pain and damage the United States

13 has caused them and the fact that no remotely ethical justification can be made for any of

14 it; and be it

15 FURTHER RESOLVED that Congress further apologizes to the other nations and people of the region for

16 the chaos and violence that has erupted beyond the borders of Iraq owing to this conflict;

17 and be it

18 FURTHER RESOLVED that Congress further apologizes to the remaining nations and peoples of the

19 world for the dishonesty that our government employed in attempting to establish a

20 coalition to join us in these atrocities, and for the damages and losses those who did join us

21 also incurred; and be it

22 FURTHER RESOLVED that Congress apologizes to the people of the United States for the sacrifices they

23 were forced to endure to enable their government to wage this abominable war, and for

24 the doubt and disappointment these decisions sowed in the perspectives of U.S. citizens

25 toward their government; and be it

26 FURTHER RESOLVED that from this day forward Congress commits to use its power to prevent actions

27 such as those expressed in the immorality of the Iraq War.

A Bill to End Federal Recognition of Columbus Day

1 BE IT ENACTED BY THE CONGRESS HERE ASSEMBLED:

2 SECTION 1. Columbus Day, designated as October 12 and observed on the second Monday in the

3 month of October, shall no longer be recognized or observed as a federal holiday.

4 SECTION 2. On the second Monday in October, all federal government offices shall remain open, stock

5 market trading shall continue as normal, and federal government employees shall not be

6 eligible for any special leave.

7 SECTION 3. State and local governments and private businesses may choose to continue recognizing

8 and observing Columbus Day, if desired.

9 SECTION 4. This legislation shall take effect on January 1, 2024.

10 SECTION 5. All laws in conflict with this legislation are hereby declared null and void.