Joe Provencher Paradigm

Last changed 10 October 2018 5:42 AM CST

The allegory of the cornbread:

Debate is like a delicately constructed thanksgiving dinner. Often, if you take time to make sure you don’t serve anyone anything they’re allergic to, we can all grit it and bear it even if we really didn’t want to have marshmallows on our sweet potatoes. Mashed potatoes and gravy are just as good as cranberry relish if you make it right. Remember, If you’ve been invited to a thanksgiving dinner you should show up unconditionally unless you have a damn good excuse or your grandma got hit by a reindeer because we’re here to eat around a point of commonality unless your great uncle happens to be super racist. Then don’t go to thanksgiving. I’ll eat anything as long as you’re willing to tell me what’s in it and how to cook it. Remember, you don’t prepare stuffing by making stuffing, that’s not a recipe that’s a tautology. I eat a lot, I’m good at eating, and I’d love to help you learn how to eat and cook too.


PS: And why thanksgiving? Because you’re other options are Christmas featuring a man way too old to be doing that job asking if you’ve been naughty or nice at the hotel lobby, the Easter bunny which is just a man way older than you’d think he is in a suite offering kids his definitely-not-sketchy candy (who maybe aren’t really even old enough to be eating all that candy), or Labor Day where everyone realizes they can’t wear their hoods and be fashionable at the same time.

Full Judging Record

Tournament Lv Date Ev Rd Aff Neg Vote Result
National Speech and Debate Tournament HS 2021-06-07 CX R7 205 273 Neg Neg 3-0
National Speech and Debate Tournament HS 2021-06-07 CX R6 197 157 Neg
National Speech and Debate Tournament HS 2021-06-07 CX R5 263 107 Aff
National Speech and Debate Tournament HS 2021-06-07 CX R3 312 183 Neg
National Speech and Debate Tournament HS 2021-06-07 CX R2 203 164 Neg
National Speech and Debate Tournament HS 2021-06-07 CX R1 193 264 Neg Neg 2-0
TAPPS State LD Debate and Persuasive Meet HS 2021-04-12 LD 3A Semis HolTri Faithann Go RouRoc Kiera Dixon Neg Neg 3-0
TAPPS State LD Debate and Persuasive Meet HS 2021-04-12 LD 3A R3 Concor Charlotte Branch RouRoc Lude Abebe Aff
NPDA C 2021-03-06 NPDA Elim 4 Rice LA Parliamentary Debate at Berkeley/UCLA AW Aff Aff 4-3
NPDA C 2021-03-06 NPDA Elim 3 Rice CS Parliamentary Debate at Berkeley MR Neg Neg 5-0
NPDA C 2021-03-06 NPDA Elim 2 Parliamentary Debate at Berkeley CF McKendree GD Aff Neg 2-1
NPDA C 2021-03-06 NPDA Novice Grand Canyon MV Mercer PS Neg Neg 3-0
NPDA C 2021-03-06 NPDA R8 Illini GM Univ of Pacific PR Aff
NPDA C 2021-03-06 NPDA R7 San Francisco State PP Mercer PS Aff
NPDA C 2021-03-06 NPDA R6 Concordia University Irvine MD Debate at Reed/Georgetown DS Neg
NPDA C 2021-03-06 NPDA R3 Whitman FR Univ of Pacific TR Aff
Lubbock High School TFA HS 2020-12-09 LD Finals Wimber JB TomMem KC Aff Neg 2-1
Lubbock High School TFA HS 2020-12-09 LD Semis TomMem KC Granbu JG Aff Aff 2-1
Lubbock High School TFA HS 2020-12-09 LD R3 TomMem KC ASESL CC Aff
Lubbock High School TFA HS 2020-12-09 LD R2 Canadi DL Bushla NS Neg
Lubbock High School TFA HS 2020-12-09 LD R1 Snyder SH Cooper KS Neg
2020 Golden Gate Invitational C 2020-10-31 Open Finals Rice CS PDAB MR Opp Opp 3-0
Parli Round Robin Test C 2020-02-15 Parli R1 104 107 Aff Aff 2-0
Rice University Classic C 2019-09-28 NPDA R6 Parliamentary Debate at Berkeley BR Rice KW Gov
Rice University Classic C 2019-09-28 NPDA R3 Univ of Pacific PT Tulane BS Gov
Rice University Classic C 2019-09-28 NPDA R2 Tulane EH Rice CS Opp
National Round Robin C 2019-03-02 Open Elim 4 Parliamentary Debate at Berkeley KT Rice TB Gov Gov 3-0
National Round Robin C 2019-03-02 Open Elim 3 Western Washington CJ Parliamentary Debate at Berkeley KT Opp Opp 3-0
National Round Robin C 2019-03-02 Open R7 Western Washington CJ Rice CS Gov Gov 3-0
National Round Robin C 2019-03-02 Open R5 St Mary's GS Western Washington AB Gov Gov 2-0
National Round Robin C 2019-03-02 Open R4 Parliamentary Debate at Berkeley KT Rice TB Opp
National Round Robin C 2019-03-02 Open R3 Parliamentary Debate at Berkeley RR Concordia University Irvine VS Gov
National Round Robin C 2019-03-02 Open R2 Whitman BC Rice CS Opp Opp 2-0
National Round Robin C 2019-03-02 Open R1 St Mary's PJ Grand Canyon SB Gov Gov 2-0
Steve Hunt Classic C 2018-10-13 oparl OR6 Oregon DS Minnesota BS Opp
Steve Hunt Classic C 2018-10-13 oparl OR5 Western Washington DS Parliamentary Debate at Berkeley CQ Gov
Steve Hunt Classic C 2018-10-13 oparl OR4 Minnesota PG St Mary's SJ Gov
Steve Hunt Classic C 2018-10-13 oparl Or3 Western Washington CA Lewis and Clark GR Gov
Steve Hunt Classic C 2018-10-13 nparl R1 St Mary's AM Puget Sound SW Gov